womens role

Sep 24 15:50 UTC 1996

personally i think it is the womens role to bring the husband a steak,  a
beer,  a remote control, a cigar,  and take care of the children,  and to take
care of the mans other needs
i thik it is the mans job to go and be the bread winner,  to bring the women
champagne and cavier,  put in the video tape when she wnats to watch it, his
job to be the male role model for the family,  he cuts the lawn,  washes the
cars,  and to satisfy his wife in bed too
i guess in that way it is a mutual thing in the traditional marriage
it goes that way in my family, mom and dad love the kids,   mom cooks and
cleans,  dad does the outside work,  the kids vacum and such,  both of the
parents work for $$$,  and i luv that atmosphere
that is my piece of mind

response 2 of 37:

Sep 24 17:07 UTC 1996

Having nice well-defined traditional roles certainly means that you don't have
to worry you head too much and can sit back and enjoy your piece of mind. 
You don't really have that much of a relationship with your woman.  You mainly
have a relationship with your role as husband.  Much simpler.  Not something
I'm personally interested in.  I don't mind occupying roles and interacting
with other roles for short periods and specific purposes, but I'd rather not
live my life that way, at least not in a role designed by someone else.

response 4 of 37:

Sep 24 22:17 UTC 1996

I think it's great he knows exactly what he wants in a mate
and will be able to make his expectations known early on.
There are lots of women out there who are hoping for just
such an arrangement.  They deserve each other till death
do they part. ;-)

response 8 of 37:

Sep 25 07:01 UTC 1996

My father's rolwe consisted of drinking one liter
of hard liquor a day, work from 11 a.m. till?? (after visiting
some prostitutes with some business associates) and he never
did anything in the house (he hired lawnmowers and the like)
and besides that he held the opinion that his wife (my
mother) was his goodlooking slave.
I mean this, but put it a little harsh.
I was brought up in this environment, and as
a result vowed I wouldn't bw like that.
So, now I'm like me and like to look at myself as a
rather decent guy.

response 12 of 37:

Sep 25 14:58 UTC 1996

And don't forget, it also defines how each parent provides food for the
kid up to a certain point.  >8)

I really have no clue what I'd expect a wife to do.  This is probably
one of the reasons I'm not married.  >8)  I do think that each
couple should figure it out for themselves, and if they can agree,
then that's all that's important.

response 14 of 37:

Sep 25 20:33 UTC 1996

I think I would be bored to distraction by a relationship in which "roles"
were so clearly defined and predictable that they could be discussed outside
of individual daily rythms.

Some days I really want to cook.  Othwr days Ijust want to come home and find
Larry in a wonderfully fragrant kitchen with my nearly ready supper.  Some
days I wouldn't mind calling the plumber or mowing the lawn.  Others I waant
someone else to handle it.  (And that someone is probably larry since he and
I are the adults who live here.)

Child car?  I carried mine for 3/4 of a yer each.  I expected their fathers
to tote them around, change their diapers, cuddle them, read them stories,
teach them cool stuff to know and correct their behavior on an equal footing
with me.  (I was smaller than either Pa, so I traded some diaper duty for some
toting when they were very small--especially while I was pregnant.  

Roles are for actors.  I don't want to live my life onstage.

response 16 of 37:

Sep 29 04:22 UTC 1996

 I agree with Misti. I don't care who cares for the child, or mows the lawn.
If my wife can get a better job than me, then more power to her. I have no
problem with cooking, cleaning, sewing, or anything domestic. It's work and
needs to be done. Doesn't matter who does it as long as it gets done.

response 18 of 37:

Sep 29 15:37 UTC 1996

"'This is the only way,' we say.  And yet, there
are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from a single center."

                       H.D. Thoreau

response 20 of 37:

Sep 29 19:35 UTC 1996

I don't know that Mary is saying "it's impossible to have respect for someone
who stays home in a traditional "doestic role"."  I think she may be pointing
out that nothing in our society will support you for doing that and it's going
to take a lot of work from both partner not to fall into the "non-paid
domestic workers don't really work" trap.

It bit me.  It's bitten a lot of people I've known.

response 22 of 37:

Sep 30 06:22 UTC 1996

Best ways is to both have jobs and do the chores at home.
As I understand is that working mothers do the housekeeping next
to their jobs as well. Makes wonder what emancipation in
the Netherlands actually comes down to. Or, what do ya think
of when there are children she'll tend to them and gives up
het job.
Since choices have to be made, and the difficulty for both
partners to find a secure basis in parttime jobs I think 
being pragmatic about the situation is an inevitability.
Does it really matter who takes care of the house?
Losing respect for someone that tends the housechores is
what I say superficial.
Losing respect for someone that doesn't develop his/her
personality anymore, however is way more easy, but not
nice.
Is it fair to lose respect if a person is not in the position
to escape from some situation?

response 24 of 37:

Oct 1 02:41 UTC 1996

I expect in my eventual marriage, if there is one, we will both work
at challenging jobs and hire out the domestic duties. Life's too short
to clean house.