|
|
| Author |
Message |
denise
|
|
Dating Rituals
| 
May 18 00:30 UTC 1996 |
Where do you/we stand these days in the 'dating' rituals?? How
are the rules changing over time?? Are you finding the guys still
wanting to pay or are they accepting of our offers to help out?
ARE you offering to help pay? What about asking the guy out for the
first date, are YOU comfortable with this? are THEY? What else is new
or different? What's still the same?
|
| 72 responses total. |
scott
|
|
response 1 of 72:
|
May 18 02:12 UTC 1996 |
I *hate* rituals.
|
robh
|
|
response 2 of 72:
|
May 18 11:41 UTC 1996 |
I love rituals! Well, I love pagan rituals. I can't stand
the dating ones. >8)
|
birdlady
|
|
response 3 of 72:
|
May 18 20:19 UTC 1996 |
Ditto what Rob said! =) I almost fall over if a guy insists on paying, but
at the same time, he's a shoo-in if he holds the door, lets me go first, pays,
or opens my car door. I love hopeless romantics...especially the ones who
know how to ballroom dance! ;-) I think it's okay for a female to take the
aggressive approach, though. I am NOT going to wait for my phone to ring!
|
popcorn
|
|
response 4 of 72:
|
May 19 05:27 UTC 1996 |
This response has been erased.
|
omni
|
|
response 5 of 72:
|
May 19 06:24 UTC 1996 |
I think doors should be opened for women, but only if they want me to.
(learned that one the hard way!).
The woman that accompanies me on a date does not have to worry about the
dinner check, opening doors, or anything. I call in the morning, but don't
expect *anything* in return.
I can't dance worth a damn, but I have lots of personality ;)
|
popcorn
|
|
response 6 of 72:
|
May 19 13:36 UTC 1996 |
This response has been erased.
|
abchan
|
|
response 7 of 72:
|
May 19 14:49 UTC 1996 |
This response has been erased.
|
asp
|
|
response 8 of 72:
|
May 20 05:49 UTC 1996 |
depends on teh situation, and the guy. When I was (a little) younger, I was
always insisting on not being put into roes, now I have to admit tha tI like
being treated like a "lady", so long as the guy doesn't mind that I, too like
to be teh "gentleman" (I like holding doors an dstuff)...
(I was just thinking that I've let guys pay the bill before, but except when
I have been out with friends, or when I was with my boyfriend (ex) when he
was depositing his paychecks in my account have I paid fo ra guy... what a
hypocrite!)
there was something else I was going to say... oh well (oh yes, I love giving
red roses and othe rflowers to guys... I feel as though I've taken over a
ritual)
|
birdlady
|
|
response 9 of 72:
|
May 20 18:43 UTC 1996 |
Lately, I've been having lunch on Wednesdays with a good male friend. Even
tough we aren't dating, we always argue over the check. I'm very stubborn
(NO...really?), so lately we've been taking turns. =) It works out very
well. I don't demand that a guy is a chivalrous knight...I can hold my own
door, but I think it's romantic if they want to do it. I just think it's
cute. =) Oh...omni...anyone can learn to dance. Give me a couple minutes,
and I'll have you waltzing around the room. <g>
|
chelsea
|
|
response 10 of 72:
|
May 21 00:11 UTC 1996 |
I've warned my son that if he is out with a woman, and she
presumes he'll be picking up the check, to be afraid. Very
afraid. She is probably a housewife in the making.
|
beeswing
|
|
response 11 of 72:
|
May 21 01:13 UTC 1996 |
Tee hee!
Anyway, I am totally junior high when I am interested in someone. It's sad,
very sad. I look them up in the phone book to get an address/phne number. May
call number to hear the answering machine... will hang up immediately if a
live human voice answers. If I really have it bad, may drive by the person's
house... won't hink or anything, will just drive by (well my car honks,m
doesn't hink). Very sick, isn't it? I guess it is my way of getting to know
them more without risking the heartbreak, which always seems inevitable. If
I get to spend time with them, I analyze every word and gesture and try to
figure out what it means, if anything. I wish I could chill out and act like
a normal human being. No wonder my dating life is perpetually in the toilet.
|
scott
|
|
response 12 of 72:
|
May 21 01:35 UTC 1996 |
There is sort of a "vibe" I look for, but it's pretty rare. It's annoying
to meet somebody who I figure out is really compatible, etc., but there's no
vibe there.
(Vibe? ... er... Excitement, feeling, um... it's hard to pin down.)
|
aruba
|
|
response 13 of 72:
|
May 21 01:55 UTC 1996 |
It's a lot worse when one person feels it and the other doesn't.
Interestingly, I have done all of the things you describe, beeswing, as
recently as 3 years ago - when I was 26. Honestly, I don't think they did
anything to prevent heartbreak; it might have been easier had it been
swifter.
Hmmm - probably not, come to think of it. Heartbreak pretty much sucks no
matter how it comes about. I think one's options are reduced to either
enduring it, avoiding romance altogether, deciding romance isn't
important, or committing suicide. Unless one gets lucky, that is.
|
omni
|
|
response 14 of 72:
|
May 21 05:45 UTC 1996 |
I dunno birdie, I can square dance, but I never learned to dance formally
because the number of dates/girlfriends I've had you can count on one hand.
|
asp
|
|
response 15 of 72:
|
May 22 01:10 UTC 1996 |
I agree, anyone can learn how to dance (and it doesn't take a date or a
girlfriend!!)
I very definitely do "sneaky" things like learn their phone number adn where
they live, being on a campus means that ever time I walk by their building
at night I check to see if they're home... don't neccessarily visit...)
But hey, that's the fun of the chase to some extent it's scary to do more
|
iggy
|
|
response 16 of 72:
|
May 22 14:19 UTC 1996 |
when hubby and i were getting to know each other, there was
no romance involved. we were just friends, and eventually we became best
friends. so, we never dated, we just 'hung out' and talked and did things
together. we each pid for our own food, beverage, admission, etc. occassionally
we would treat the other.
so, i have never been out on a formal date, and frankly the
idea doesnt interest me. although now that hubby and i are living together
and have merged property and finances, the point is moot. ;-)
|
abchan
|
|
response 17 of 72:
|
May 26 19:35 UTC 1996 |
This response has been erased.
|
asp
|
|
response 18 of 72:
|
May 26 20:23 UTC 1996 |
My ex and I had our first "date" on the last time we were together before we
broke up, wierd, huh?
|
birdlady
|
|
response 19 of 72:
|
May 28 17:46 UTC 1996 |
<grins at beeswing>
When I met Jerod, I did quite a bit of detective work to find out his class
schedule and what buildings he'd be in at what time. I'd often "bump into
him" after class. (Usually after sprinting across campus). He never asked
why I was always flushed and out of breath. ;-) I learned later that he had
done the same thing with my Color Guard practices.
|
clees
|
|
response 20 of 72:
|
May 29 06:45 UTC 1996 |
My favorite opener is "So, when had we agreed to go out together?"
Well, not actually an opener, but let's say after meetiung two times or so.
Holding doors is merely a matter of well-behave and in this I don't
distinguish between both sexes, but it is
the women who take notice.
Not going Dutch is in Holland at least considered as
outdated.
|
cj
|
|
response 21 of 72:
|
May 30 18:35 UTC 1996 |
When I first met my husband he would hold the door open for me, but it made
me feel like, he thought I wasn't able to do it for my self. But now that
I want him to do it (even when I have my hands full) he won't. He said that
he only did it ot impress me. But I think a really man should hold the door
open, pay the check and by no meanss expect anything but a "Good night" and
an "I had a wonderful time to night" in return.
|
aruba
|
|
response 22 of 72:
|
May 30 22:32 UTC 1996 |
So this "really man" - is he allowed to express his feelings and desires to
his loved one? Or must he wait at her beck and call? I am not sure how to
take your last sentence, Carrie.
|
omni
|
|
response 23 of 72:
|
May 31 04:01 UTC 1996 |
I'm sure how to take it, because that *is* my philosophy on dating.
|
clees
|
|
response 24 of 72:
|
May 31 13:55 UTC 1996 |
A real man is a man that isn't afraid to be honest to himself on
the firsthand, and second to the world around him.
The same goes for women.
If we're talking masculinity however, or femininety, that
is something else.
|