Pregnancy dilemma #1

Mar 25 16:59 UTC 2002

Got this from the Baby Center Website

http://www.babycenter.com

"Georgina says, 'I really want to breastfeed my baby, but my husband 
thinks it's disgusting. I feel like I'm not allowed to do it without 
his support. How can I change his mind?'

Do you have advice for Georgina? Share it here!"

Ideas, Questions, Opinions?

response 2 of 21:

Mar 25 17:14 UTC 2002

<boggles>

Interesting.  It wouldn't even have occurred to me to be disgusted by
breastfeeding.  Of all the body shame issues I've run across, this has to be
one of the strangest.  Maybe I've just lived in Ann Arbor too long.

As far as "not allowed to do it without his support" ... I'm really not 
sure what to think of that.  Part of me is saying, "Well of course they should
both have a say in how the child is raised.  If he's the father, his opinion
matters too, even if it's a little odd."  But a bigger part of me just thinks
he's a creep.  The combination of "breastfeeding is yucky" and "raise my kid
the way I tell you to raise him" doesn't exactly make me picture a
progressive, equality-minded husband looking to take his fair share of the
responsibility.  

And ... well, on the one hand, the baby's health is the most persuasive
argument.  If the father were an anti-immunization zealot, I'd feel pretty
strongly in favor of giving the kid his shots anyway.  But that's one extreme.
At the other extreme are arguments like "you're endangering your daughter by
not fighting to get her into an expensive preschool" that just make me laugh.
Breastfeeding falls somewhere between being a yuppie hangup and being an
essential health benefit, and I'm not sure how much intervention it justifies.

Good question.

response 4 of 21:

Mar 25 23:10 UTC 2002

If he finds breastfeeding disgusting, I wonder how they ever managed to
conceive a baby.

response 6 of 21:

Mar 26 15:40 UTC 2002

I was telling a friend about this item, and she said "Of course he's got
problems with it.  Up until the baby came along, that was _his_ breast."

That's one way to look at it, I guess.  

response 8 of 21:

Mar 26 18:19 UTC 2002

Your response just boggled my mind.

response 10 of 21:

Apr 16 21:04 UTC 2002

Well the biologic jealousy is not bad. I like the question, because 
it's certainly not a nice subject between the partners. Try early 
irritations to solve, they draw other irritations. My way is talking 
about it from various direction. How does it feel the different moments 
for the woman, how long. The man can tell what he feels, but he must 
stay quiet, not enlarging his feelings or disgust. He had to learn to 
deal with it, give it a place, rephrasing many times, drawing, if likes 
that. Talking about it, but always so that the problem minimizes. Yes, 
don't neglect it, other problems for other moments.

In this way I see it. Good question! Thank you.

Ed

response 12 of 21:

Apr 21 11:06 UTC 2002

Yes, I know, something in Europe called "Liege lait". Yes, I agree 
completely with it. But my point was a way acceptance by the husband. 
Valerie, I can't post anymore in you diary, that's good, but would 
Kendra like a nice warm bath, ot did you try this already. In my view
feeling safe is a keyword.

response 14 of 21:

Apr 21 20:40 UTC 2002

Julie, please email me safeandwarm@hotmail.com. let us look how high 
the risks are, you deserve really to get more certainty. And please 
enjoy to get a new baby, please Julie email me early.

response 16 of 21:

Apr 21 21:00 UTC 2002

Yes you are right I recognize now the word picture (English?) Please 
mail me. safeandwarm@hotmail.com

That's a good thing. Are they also gathering urine for seprating a 
hormone for other women, I don't know what exactly, in the US. I am not 
sure the same La Leche League does the gathering.

I know LLL provides information, which is very useful, I think. Please
give breasrmilk idf you can, better for child and better for you.

I'm so glad you posted this. I posted what you maybe can expect, but 
please email me maybe the risks are for you lower. But please trust me.

response 18 of 21:

Apr 23 18:24 UTC 2002

YES! 

Julie, maybe this isn't my business according to you, but your postings
don't show anything of serious risks. You have according my knowledge 
probably a very light form. One thing it's also good among other nice 
things, to think and communcate a lot with from time to time (often) 
new elements. Feeling yourself happy and communicating new things are 
the very strong points of my L'+F' relationship. It's my last hint I 
can give you probably.

Have a very nice time, no, many, many years of happiness,

And it's completely true, I trust you indeed. 

response 20 of 21:

Apr 23 20:36 UTC 2002

Okay, I hope we're even now. You know I wish many things for you. 
I'm a little bit charming you know.