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Mar 22 20:03 UTC 1995

Finish Off Endangered Species (FOES) ACTION PLAN

In a few short months, the Endangered Species Act will be history. This plan
explains how.

America was a great country up to the late 1960's and early 1970's. Then, the
whacko environmentalists took over and passed crazy laws. And the craziest
law of all was the Endangered Species Act that said varmints, bugs, and
poisonous plants are more important than people. Think about it. That law was
passed in 1973, and that's when America really started going down the tubes.
The Endangered Species Act is another Viet Nam. Since the sorry day the
Endangered Species Act was passed, we have declined from our former greatness
as a human civilization. At the same time, the bugs, birds, and other vermin
have prospered.

It's gone from bad to worse, and now thousands of hard working Americans and
their families have lost everything because of endangered species. It's a sad
day when people's homes burn down because of a stupid rat some fool put on a
list. When a whole proud logging industry dies because of an owl that is too
ignorant to live in healthy young tree farms. When we stop building dams that
are the envy of the world. The critters are taking over and dragging this
country down for the last count. Any nation that puts bugs before people is
endangered, and that is the US today. Bad science, unfunded mandates, and
taking private property all make good people the real endangered species.

Why did this happen? Environmentalists are negative. They only know what they
are against. They're always telling people: "Stop everything! You're no
good!" They aren't for anything that has to do with people instead of their
birds, briars and bugs. They are against growth and they are against private
property. But they never met a critter they didn't like. They use endangered
species as a gimmick to try to stop growth and progress. For many years, they
fooled most of the people. But no longer. Now the people are taking back over
from the birds.

How do we fix it? Now we control Congress. We must move fast to get rid of
this crazy law before people get confused again by environmentalist
propaganda.

OUR MODEST PROPOSAL

Never Re-authorize

The Endangered Species Act has already lost its authorization. It happened in
the last Congress. That means it's already twisting in the wind. We must see
to it that it NEVER gets re-authorized. Endangered Humans Act, yes,
Endangered Species Act, never again.

Choke Off the Appropriations Money

Next, we must make sure our friends choke off all money to implement the evil
act. This will be easy to do. Starvation diet time! Easiest budget cut ever
made.

Attack the Bureaucrats

We will attack the pointy-headed bureaucrats who inflict the law on people.
We have a golden opportunity to get rid of the Fish and Wildlife Service and
the Nationalistic Biological Serbia. And guess what, we've got help! The
enviros don't like them either! Without the feds, the law is dead. But we
must move fast before they fool people into supporting them.

Attack the Science

ALWAYS call the science bad. It works! The media always cover it if there is
an opposing view. So tell people that endangered species is a fiction, that
all species die at the end of their cycle. Demand proof that any species is
really endangered. Talk about how the species that go are the effete ones
that couldn't make it and needed to be culled. Talk about how new species are
always evolving. Talk about how, if there are millions of species out there,
losing a few can't make any difference. Talk about how the list of species is
full of mistakes and has hybrids and other things that shouldn't be there.
Science mixes people up. It scares them. Americans want things simple. The
Know Nothings were right. We can help.

Attack the Enviros

The environmental extremists are running scared. And they should be! They
realize the people have spoken and their little gimmick is about to end.
Remember how weak they are. Many of them are asleep. Many are running away.
Many of them are fighting with each other and making blame. Their money and
memberships are down. They are eating their children. Their time is over.
Challenge them to show a single good thing the Endangered Species Act has
ever done for anyone. Challenge them to be FOR something human.

Focus on the Bugs not Land

We all know that the species aren't the real issue. LAND is the real issue.
But always keep the focus on the really stupid bugs and things that are on
the list, like Furbish's Lousewort or dung beetles. Anyone can see the
foolishness of that. We've got to get our land back from the whackos.
America's greatness is founded on freedom. A man should be free to do what he
wants to with the land. Cut the trees. Mine the ore. Dump a few chemicals in
the stream. Remind people we don't need all those critters. Just a few ducks
in the pond, deer in the wood, and hatchery trout in the river is fine,
that's all we need.

Pass the Endangered Humans Act

Our destiny, our shining vision, is to be a nation of shopping malls,
industrial farms, fast food franchises, freeways, and cozy homes from sea to
shining sea. A few zoos and neighborhood parks will give us all the nature we
need. And a few movies and documentaries. Or people can go up north to Canada
or maybe down to Mexico. If we keep any national parks, we should run plenty
of interstate highways through each one and charge a steep admission fee to
pay the freight for maintaining the place.

But this destiny is endangered. The people who build our future have been
blocked. Some of them have given up. They need help. They need recovery plans
to put them back on their feet. We need an Endangered Humans Act that will
save the bulldozers and the chainsaws and the proud people who run them. We
will take the money we used to waste on critters and put it back into taming
the land. Soon the environmentalist will be the endangered species.

The Final Solution

Finally, if all other measures fail, and we still have an endangered species
problem in this country, we call on human supporters everywhere to take up
their arms. We control the bulldozers and most of the guns. We will finish
off the endangered species wherever they are hiding and win the final
victory.  When all the endangered species are gone, there will be nothing
left to argue about. America will stand tall again, out from the shadow of
critters.

The next time you see an environmentalist who isn't running away, wave this
plan in his face and ask him what he's going to do about it. And watch him
sweat. Just remind him that HE's going to be on the new endangered species
list!

Please cross-post this plan everywhere!  Permission is granted to re-post,
reprint, copy, or quote from this plan in whole or in part as long as FOES
Action Plan is cited.

Copyright FOES 1995