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Grex > Enigma > #276: Perhaps from Lands Beyond the Sea |  |
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| Author |
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remmers
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Perhaps from Lands Beyond the Sea
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Apr 3 01:28 UTC 1996 |
Perhaps from lands beyond the sea
A mighty king will send for me,
Unearthly light around me glow,
Light my way to Tambero.
Keen to solve the riddle there,
Each prior knight abandoned care,
Rushed into the darkclad plain,
Succumbed to Tamb'ro's evil bane -
However, I shall not thus fail,
As shielded by my coat of mail
Will I thwart death - so ends my tale.
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| 33 responses total. |
lovenote
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response 1 of 33:
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Apr 3 16:01 UTC 1996 |
you paint wonderful pictures wtiu with words John..very nice..:)
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remmers
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response 2 of 33:
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Apr 3 17:05 UTC 1996 |
Thanks! Some punctuation and wording needed a bit of cleanup.
Here's the revised version:
Perhaps from lands beyond the sea
A mighty king will send for me -
Unearthly brightness 'round me glow!
Light my way to Tambero!
Keen to solve the riddle there,
Each prior knight abandoned care,
Rushed into the darkclad plain,
Succumbed to Tamb'ro's evil bane -
However, I shall not thus fail,
And shielded by my mage-charmed mail
Will foil Death! (So ends my tale.)
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bubu
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response 3 of 33:
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Apr 3 21:53 UTC 1996 |
I really liked this John!!!
VEry simple and ryhmy....Nice Job!
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md
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response 4 of 33:
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Apr 4 16:51 UTC 1996 |
Now you have to do one for me.
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md
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response 5 of 33:
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Apr 4 18:12 UTC 1996 |
July, and already the summer's been hard
On the thirsty wan grass in the sun-spotted yard.
He stands and regards, now the scene at his feet,
Now the other dry gardens and lawns on the street;
Remembers yards past, other years, other droughts
Even worse than this monster, all gone and forgotten.
Maybe this one will end with wild flowers in gouts;
Maybe autumn will find the world dried-up and rotten.
Either way, he reflects as he looks at the sky,
Resurrection's a thing faith and labor can buy --
So he waters the lawn. So would you. So would I.
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remmers
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response 6 of 33:
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Apr 4 22:15 UTC 1996 |
Heh. Thanks, Michael.
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janc
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response 7 of 33:
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Apr 5 06:59 UTC 1996 |
I'm impressed again.
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arianna
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response 8 of 33:
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Apr 9 04:41 UTC 1996 |
Heh. Gotta luv 'em...old poets never die, they just gather wit. (= (= (=
(Did I say old?....I meant "seasoned", yeah, that it, "seasoned." *grin*)
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remmers
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response 9 of 33:
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Apr 9 16:19 UTC 1996 |
Much not well!
(I can tell!)
Can't you see,
or Hear my plea?
Any doubts?
(Everyone shouts:
"Let it be!")
Drat it all!
"Enough!"'s my call!
(Leave this place,
I need some space.)
"Zoo," says I;
Is that why
an Anguished face?
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chelsea
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response 10 of 33:
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Apr 9 16:53 UTC 1996 |
That's cheating.
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md
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response 11 of 33:
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Apr 9 18:54 UTC 1996 |
And not absolutely necessary, either. Delete the "or" in the
fourth line and start the last line with "an".
I was half-expecting an Audenesque sonnet (I think he actually
has one in 7+7 format in his Collected Poems), but your poem is
much, much more difficult and impressive. Little two-stress
lines leave me in tangles whenever I try to write them. Envy,
envy. Anyway, I like it, although I might change my mind when I
figure out what it means. ;-)
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remmers
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response 12 of 33:
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Apr 9 22:34 UTC 1996 |
Hmph. What some call "cheating" I call "generalizing the
rules."
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brighn
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response 13 of 33:
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Apr 9 23:39 UTC 1996 |
A rule? How cruel! Provoke, my bloke, and ire - the fire to stoke!
Why do you two when one, so spun, is nice - yes, twice the fun!
*giggles*
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remmers
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response 14 of 33:
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Apr 10 11:27 UTC 1996 |
Call it a "pattern" then instead of a "rule". Anyone who sees
the pattern should feel free to jump in and add their own
example of it.
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md
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response 15 of 33:
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Apr 10 20:07 UTC 1996 |
Her legs; she always hated them, the straight
Incurvate line from heel to whaleboned hip.
"Legs are not all," as once declared her mate;
Legs are not anything, in fact, to grip
And hold, next to the nippled breasts above,
Rippled and wobbled by love's doubled shove
(Yet breasts portentious and a thing of state).
Cheekbones to die for, on the other hand,
Like apple sweetness on her face's verge,
In winter rosy and in summer tanned;
No human sonnet can convey the urge
To kiss them that consumes her mate of late --
Only her eyes afford him, with the power of Fate,
No look that does not kill, nor glance command.
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brighn
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response 16 of 33:
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Apr 10 20:58 UTC 1996 |
A rhyme sublime - to mime, in time, is grime: a crime to chime.
And so I know so low to go will throw a blow, in tro'.
IT will not thrill -- nay, chill, and still, a pill: I'll kill my fill.
and shame -- I tame my name, and blame the game, the same is fame.
I'll stop now before I get even less cohesive than I already am --
though this *does* make sense, if you stretch your mind a bit.
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md
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response 17 of 33:
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Apr 10 21:04 UTC 1996 |
I can't stand it.
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chelsea
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response 18 of 33:
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Apr 10 22:40 UTC 1996 |
My heroes. ;-)
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brighn
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response 19 of 33:
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Apr 10 23:36 UTC 1996 |
Don't humor us, Mary... stop us before we rhyme again. =}
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md
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response 20 of 33:
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Apr 11 14:12 UTC 1996 |
Well, I certainly don't want to be mistaken for anyone's hero,
so I guess I'll stop entering stuff here. ;-)
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arianna
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response 21 of 33:
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Apr 11 14:42 UTC 1996 |
*rotfl*
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chelsea
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response 22 of 33:
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Apr 12 03:15 UTC 1996 |
Actually, Michael, there is a (short) story to my response #19.
I read it quickly and it sounded like John and I thought I'd
read the header as being entered by John. And part of the
message reminded me of someone I admire, so that's where the
"hero" came from.
I only tell you this because I'm basically honest. Mostly
basically. I try anyhow. A good part of the time. On and off,
but mostly on.
Anyhow, know I read every single word you enter here, and
even those you don't but I think you do. And vice-versa. ;-)
I'm going to bed now.
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md
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response 23 of 33:
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Apr 12 12:49 UTC 1996 |
What did you think sounded like John? One of my responses?
I'm absurdly flattered, if so.
So, anyway. Is anyone going to say anything? Or are we just
going to, you know, sit here? Or what?
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brighn
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response 24 of 33:
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Apr 12 16:24 UTC 1996 |
(considering i entered #19, mary obviously gets confused about such
trivialities... *g* )
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