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Grex > Enigma > #270: A Single Tree Among the Wood (a traditional poem) |  |
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remmers
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A Single Tree Among the Wood (a traditional poem)
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Jan 3 11:17 UTC 1996 |
A single tree among the wood
Has earned a special place,
For in its bark I carved my name
And that of tender Grace.
In summers past we tarried there
Beyond the city's din,
A picnic basket we would bring
With lots of good stuff in.
Beneath the tree we'd munch our snacks
And speak just what we felt,
Anticipating ruined choirs
Where late the songbirds dwelt.
The forest mice would gather round
And hum a pretty tune,
The forest moose might stop by too,
Though hopefully not soon.
The mountain stream would run its course,
Though in another place,
For our wood was in a plain
Far from the hills' embrace.
When Grace would turn and say to me
"When we are old and gray..."
I vowed to love her in December
Just as I had in May.
As sign of my undying love
To last throughout my life,
I carved our names upon the tree
With my Swiss Army Knife.
"Forever then," said Grace aloud,
"I'm yours for all of time."
Amazed was I at Grace's speech,
Recorded in this rhyme.
So if you travel through the wood
And chance upon this tree,
Take note of our eternal names:
Amazing Grace, and me.
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| 15 responses total. |
general
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response 1 of 15:
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Jan 3 23:35 UTC 1996 |
Good work again, remmers.
<general is impressed by remmers more and more all the tiem.> er time.
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brighn
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response 2 of 15:
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Jan 4 00:08 UTC 1996 |
Well, this is the first piece of John's that has impressed me, but
it has impressed me indeed...
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shade
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response 3 of 15:
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Jan 4 05:07 UTC 1996 |
Yes it is very impresive...I think (a tradition poem) implied
that soeone else had writtenit.
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remmers
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response 4 of 15:
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Jan 4 11:06 UTC 1996 |
Nope, I accept full responsibility. By "traditional" I meant
that it has a traditional form.
I'm curious what aspects of this impress people.
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remmers
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response 5 of 15:
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Jan 4 11:11 UTC 1996 |
(I should say I accept full responsibility except for four
lines that are lifted from other sources. Of course, even
for those, I'm responsible for using them here.)
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md
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response 6 of 15:
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Jan 4 20:14 UTC 1996 |
I like it, too, for its many humorous touches. I especially
like the mice, the moose, the Swiss Army Knife, the picnic
basket with lots of good stuff in... The whole thing, in fact.
The more I read it, the more I like it. I also have the
feeling, as I do with many of Remmers's creations, that I'm
missing something.
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brighn
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response 7 of 15:
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Jan 4 21:14 UTC 1996 |
I liked it because it was simple, and quaint... romantic, as a change
of pace from much (but not all) of the stuff around here. Not the
slightest bit pretentious, which frankly is how I read most of your
stuff, John... either like you're ridiculing everybody else or trying
to state some cosmic etherity in as obfuscated a style as possible.
This poem, in contrast, is sweet,, and that's all.
*shrug*
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remmers
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response 8 of 15:
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Jan 5 12:11 UTC 1996 |
I suppose it would be more logical to move the 3rd stanza to
make it the 5th stanza.
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md
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response 9 of 15:
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Jan 5 15:27 UTC 1996 |
Ah. That makes it much less pretentious and ridiculing.
Btw, John, is this copyright 1996 by John Remmers, or can
I sign my name to it and send it to the New Yorker?
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remmers
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response 10 of 15:
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Jan 5 16:14 UTC 1996 |
Yes, it's Copyright (c) 1996 by John H. Remmers. Thanks for
asking.
On the other hand, there's some logic to leaving the 3rd
stanza where it is, as the first part of it ties in with
what precedes. Decisions, decisions...
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freedom
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response 11 of 15:
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Jan 6 20:47 UTC 1996 |
heh, sounds like somehting out of my englisg book at school, not necessarily
bad, considering those people are supposed to be the best!
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arianna
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response 12 of 15:
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Jan 9 01:40 UTC 1996 |
What impressed me about this one? Well, it's sweetly endearing without being
too over-emphatic about love. As if you were simply stating a fact, not
begging it to come true, or shouting to the world about your love for Grace.
Also, it sounded almost 3rd person, not as if you were the one professing your
love. But then, that may go back to the simplicity of the overall statement
that was made.....I like it lots. <=
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rcurl
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response 13 of 15:
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Jan 9 07:39 UTC 1996 |
The meter is very similar to a poem that I think remmers once used as
the Mysterious Quote, which begins..
My childhood's home I see again,
And sadden with the view;
And still, as memory crowds my brain,
There's pleasure in it, too.
The feeling of it is also similar - a lament for lost love (or childrhood).
What I like is the simplicity of the meter, words and story: economic
expression. However I thought there were a few jarring notes, like
the Swiss Army Knife (and a touch of "somewhere in this favored land..").
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remmers
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response 14 of 15:
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Apr 3 12:30 UTC 1996 |
By the way, did anybody spot the "borrowed lines" in this?
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octavius
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response 15 of 15:
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Jul 2 00:40 UTC 1996 |
I like it, but it has more to do with the meter, and the subconscious
part of my brain which refuses to tell people why it likes or dislikes certain
works of art. Prose is a little bit different - sometimes, the writing could
be terrible, but I'd still like the story.
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