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| Author |
Message |
md
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Enigmatic Traffic Light
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Sep 21 18:29 UTC 1993 |
There is a certain intersection. Let's call the two streets
Northsouth Street and Eastwest Street. There is a traffic light at
this intersection. Like most other traffic lights, it goes through
a predictable series of phases: first it turns green, and the
pedestrian light turns green also; then, after a while, the
pedestrian light turns red and starts flashing to let pedestrians
know the traffic light is about to change; then the taffic light
turns amber and the red pedestrian light stops flashing; then the
traffic light turns red; then the cycle starts over again. While
the light for Northsouth Street goes through this cycle, the light
for Eastwest Street is going through a corresponding cycle. The
cycle for both streets looks like this:
NORTHSOUTH STREET EASTWEST STREET
------------------------- -------------------------
Traffic Pedestrian Traffic Pedestrian
Light Light Light Light
------- ---------------- ------- ----------------
1. green green red red
2. green flashing red red red
3. amber red red red
4. red red green green
5. red red green flashing red
6. red red amber red
Okay, now, suppose you were to enter Northsouth Street about a
hundred yards south of this intersection. Which phase in the cycle
would you be happiest to see?
Number 6 would be best, of course, because by the time you got to
the intersection the light would be green, but it wouldn't have
been green long enough for you to worry that the light would change
before you got there.
And #2 would be worst, because not only would the light be red by
the time you got there, but also it would have just turned red,
making it necessary for you to sit at the red light for the maximum
length of time.
Get the idea? Okay, what would you think if your route home from
work had you entering Northsouth Street at that point about a
hundred yards south of the intersection, and the light was in
phase #2 EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR FIVE YEARS. Wouldn't you think it
was a little bit strange? Huh? Huh?
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| 67 responses total. |
chelsea
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response 1 of 67:
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Sep 22 00:13 UTC 1993 |
No.
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vidar
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response 2 of 67:
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Sep 22 01:52 UTC 1993 |
Q
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remmers
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response 3 of 67:
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Sep 22 03:19 UTC 1993 |
That's an odd one okay, uh huh, yeah, 'tres odd' as ze French say,
or 'ganz peculiar' auf Deutsch.
The light is your first clue that you are being manipulated, that
reality is not what it seems to be.
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skeez
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response 4 of 67:
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Sep 24 01:19 UTC 1993 |
oh shit
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vidar
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response 5 of 67:
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Sep 24 02:09 UTC 1993 |
Where?
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embu
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response 6 of 67:
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Sep 24 21:53 UTC 1993 |
try either speeding desperately or slowing down to a non-irritating snail's
pace. (next time you have the chance, check the light for figs. that might
be the problem.)
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scg
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response 7 of 67:
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Sep 25 00:04 UTC 1993 |
Is the light perpetually red to avoid hitting either the shit or the figs?
There is always a big pile of one of them in the intersection.
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vidar
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response 8 of 67:
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Sep 25 12:47 UTC 1993 |
The Figs.
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chelsea
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response 9 of 67:
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Sep 25 13:23 UTC 1993 |
Mr. Rogers did a show on this phenomenon a month or two ago. What
he described in the most elegant of terms was this tendency humans
have to transfer uncomfortable feeling to animals or inanimate
objects as a way of problem solving and coping.
For "The Traffic Light is Pulling my Chain" case he suggested
folks could play it out to the max by finding a location somewhere
on Northsouth where you can see the light but where the light
can't see you. Pull off behind a big UPS truck or swing into an
alley and wait until the appropriate light change before charging
out confident and in control.
Or you could do nothing, continue to be manipulated by this icon
of anonymous authority, store up all your anger and take it out on
some fast food server who screws up your next burger order.
But in the end Bill suggested the best response would be to remind
yourself, over and over, that the traffic light likes you just the
way you are. Never doubt this no matter how much the light jerks
you around. Continue your Northsouth way as usual. The light
likes you just the way you are. Wow.
You'll find a good time to contemplate this is while you are sitting
idle at traffic lights.
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vidar
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response 10 of 67:
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Sep 25 18:44 UTC 1993 |
Duetchland, Duetchland, uber alles,
uber alles in das world.
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scg
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response 11 of 67:
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Sep 26 00:06 UTC 1993 |
What are German traffic lights like?
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vidar
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response 12 of 67:
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Sep 26 11:47 UTC 1993 |
The same as everywhere else, except they work better.
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skeez
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response 13 of 67:
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Sep 26 19:38 UTC 1993 |
Deutschland?
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md
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response 14 of 67:
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Sep 27 14:12 UTC 1993 |
Re #6: Neither speeding desperately nor slowing down to a non-
irritating snail's pace does any good. For one thing, it matters
whether the pedestrian light started flashing just before you enter
Northsouth Street, or if it's been flashing for some time before
that. If you try slowing down to a non-irritating snail's pace,
you can be sure that the pedestrian light has just started
flashing; and you'll crawl almost all the way to the intersection
while the pedestrian light continues to flash; and you'll realize,
too late, just as the traffic light turns red, that speeding
desperately is what would've worked this time. And, of course, if
you try speeding desperately, the traffic light will instantly turn
amber and then red, thus thwarting that strategy as well.
Re #9: I saw that show, and it was obvious to me that he has never
personally encountered a traffic light of the chain-pulling
variety. Because if he had, he wouldn't be nattering on about how
the light "likes him just the way he is." Oh no: he'd realize that
the appropriate response, the *deeply human response* one might
almost call it, is to take a deep breath just as the light turns
red, and scream "YOU SICK, TWISTED FUCK!"
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chelsea
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response 15 of 67:
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Sep 27 14:17 UTC 1993 |
(Ms. Remmers does a Macauly Caukins look-alike with her lips
forming a perfect O and her hands beside her ears.)
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vidar
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response 16 of 67:
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Sep 27 19:55 UTC 1993 |
Your right Sky, I did forget the s.
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bdp
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response 17 of 67:
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Sep 28 03:30 UTC 1993 |
The Goats.
NO! BARNEY! AUUUGH!
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vidar
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response 18 of 67:
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Sep 28 16:38 UTC 1993 |
ACk!
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embu
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response 19 of 67:
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Oct 1 21:06 UTC 1993 |
Is there always a police car around the corner?
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scg
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response 20 of 67:
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Oct 2 02:58 UTC 1993 |
If there's oncoming traffic, there is still something to be said for not
running the light whether or not there is a police car. It only took me
seeing one fatal accident resulting from somebody running a stop sign to
realize that yeilding the right of way is *very* important.
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vidar
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response 21 of 67:
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Oct 2 13:24 UTC 1993 |
Barney? Where? Where should I hide? Oh, wait, who's hiding, kill him!!
Where's my Bazooka?
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jasmine
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response 22 of 67:
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Nov 10 03:25 UTC 1993 |
Infidel!!! Mister Rogers spawn!!!
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skeez
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response 23 of 67:
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Nov 15 14:35 UTC 1993 |
Calm down, oh Jazzy one.....
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vidar
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response 24 of 67:
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Nov 26 02:15 UTC 1993 |
Whatcha gonna do Jazz, spank me?
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