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| Author |
Message |
orinoco
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zen jokes and other insanity
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Mar 13 13:55 UTC 1994 |
How many zen masters does it take to change a light bulb?
Two--one to change it and one not to change it.
Please add your own zen jokes, if you know any good ones
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| 46 responses total. |
grey
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response 1 of 46:
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Mar 18 07:41 UTC 1994 |
An oldie but a goodie:
Student: Does a dog have the Buddha-nature?
Master: No.
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carl
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response 2 of 46:
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Mar 18 13:41 UTC 1994 |
How about the koan:
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
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gerund
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response 3 of 46:
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Mar 19 03:46 UTC 1994 |
r#2: quiet
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vishnu
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response 4 of 46:
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Mar 19 19:53 UTC 1994 |
Actually, i can do it quite load.
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vishnu
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response 5 of 46:
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Mar 19 19:53 UTC 1994 |
Er, loud that is.
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gerund
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response 6 of 46:
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Mar 19 22:53 UTC 1994 |
Heh, I guess you have more talent that me.
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vishnu
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response 7 of 46:
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Mar 19 23:05 UTC 1994 |
I have much pride in my ability to clap with one hand.
With two hands, i can make it very loud.
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tsty
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response 8 of 46:
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Apr 4 07:54 UTC 1994 |
Just depends on what the onehand is clapping against whether
itis loud or not.
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vishnu
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response 9 of 46:
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Apr 5 02:00 UTC 1994 |
Actually, I don't ask myself why my clapping
with one hand is quiet, but rather why ever
thing else is so loud.
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none
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response 10 of 46:
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Apr 23 23:10 UTC 1994 |
Uhh, I think this was for zen JOKES, not koans.
I will start a koan item to satisfy you koan lovers.
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vishnu
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response 11 of 46:
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Apr 24 05:23 UTC 1994 |
Okey, sorry.
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carl
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response 12 of 46:
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Apr 24 11:55 UTC 1994 |
Oops, maybe a should have added a smiley face, for the humor impaired! ;-)
It's like the one handed fisherman that caught a fish "this big" (while
holding up one hand).
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orinoco
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response 13 of 46:
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May 16 19:44 UTC 1994 |
For the first time, something i saw on grex just blew my mind...
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carl
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response 14 of 46:
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May 16 22:46 UTC 1994 |
Thank you. Thank you. <carl bows>
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vishnu
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response 15 of 46:
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May 17 01:19 UTC 1994 |
What blew your mind?
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vladimir
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response 16 of 46:
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Sep 6 14:03 UTC 1994 |
It's a pity that you Americans lack the sense of humor. The original idea was
good, but what have you made of it? Well, if you are incapable of joking about
Zen, let's start to collect jokes about other philosophies. I propose to begin
with the Existenzialism (next to Zen, in a way).
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brighn
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response 17 of 46:
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Sep 6 14:57 UTC 1994 |
Vladimir, I'm an American, and I have a sense of humor. I joined Grex
after this monstrosity had died. Let's revive it then.
If a tree falls in a State Park, and there's no-one there to see you,
will you get a fine?
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vladimir
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response 18 of 46:
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Sep 8 15:36 UTC 1994 |
You'll get not a fine, but a fine feeling that the tree had been fine.
Thence your soul will proceed to confinement, refinement, and final
enlightenment (that's, if a ranger will trace you down). I agree that was a
monstrous item. But there are other forms of philosophical playfulness. Let's
explore?
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brighn
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response 19 of 46:
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Sep 8 16:05 UTC 1994 |
Fine. Maybe we can finally find some refined humor. :-)
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vladimir
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response 20 of 46:
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Sep 8 16:42 UTC 1994 |
Lead on, Paul Kershaw.
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brighn
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response 21 of 46:
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Sep 8 19:43 UTC 1994 |
I've actually been thinking about the role of humor in philosophy and
religion. the problem is, we (Westerners, at least, and probably many
more) are taught that there's nothing funny about it. I disagree
completely, and while we pagan folk joke around more than most, I
am still at a loss as to where to start. Mayhap this is why the item
originally fizzled out -- the concept was sound, but we're so used to NOT
joking we have trouble doing it. That, and the air of P(olitical)
C(orrectness), where a joke can set off a war or an ostracisizng, it just ain't
safe anymore. --BUT-- I'm a gonna do it anyways.
Any ideas? It'll take me a day or so to come up with something.
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md
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response 22 of 46:
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Sep 9 13:09 UTC 1994 |
I've always thought that if you take the New Testament at
face value the character of Jesus could be a very funny
guy at times. But it's all in the interpretation. For
example, in the episode of the woman taken in adultery,
an actor playing the role of Jesus can, and usually does
in popular portrayals, recite his lines in a slightly
pompous and totally humorless manner. Another way of
doing it, however, might be with a (dare I say it?) wicked
sense of humor. "Oh!" (looking up and feigning surprise)
"Where did everyone go? Doesn't anyone want to stone you?"
"No, no one," says the woman, cowering and shivering. He
drops the act and smiles at her, almost conspiratorially:
"Well, I don't want to stone you, either. Why don't you
go home now." She starts to dash off, but he grabs her
hand and says, "And don't do it anymore, okay?" Then he
lets her go and she runs away. Personally, I don't see
how *else* that scene can be played. The usual pontificating
way doesn't work, psychologically or dramatically, not to
mention being theologically suspect. Jesus made a point of
not being self-righteous or judgmental, and of not standing
above or apart from people like this woman.
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md
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response 23 of 46:
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Sep 9 13:47 UTC 1994 |
The Old Testament is filled with humorous episodes, like
the one (in Exodus? Numbers?) where Moses has led the
Israelites out of slavery in Egypt only to hear them
complaining about how lousy the food is in the desert
(manna for breakfast, manna for lunch, manna for dinner),
and reciting nostalgic lists of all the delicacies they
used to have in the good old days back in Egypt. Moses
just snaps -- He storms off to God and shouts, "What am
I, their mother? Why do I have to listen to this crap?"
God overreacts right back at Moses: "Oh, they want meat,
do they? I'll give them meat. They're gonna have
nothing but meat for the next month. By the time I'm
done with them, they're gonna have meat coming out their
noses!" Whereupon Moses gives the Creator of the
Universe this Mel Brooksian answer: "Hey, I've got six
hundred thousand people here. We're in the middle of the
desert. Where are you gonna get that kind of meat?"
I used to think that the humor in such scenes was
unintentional, but now I'm not so sure. In any case, I
certainly don't see any harm in finding the humor in them
now.
(Btw, biblical scenes like these give the lie to Jorge of
Burgos's contention, in _The name of the Rose_, that
comedy is fatal to religion.)
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chelsea
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response 24 of 46:
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Sep 9 14:36 UTC 1994 |
Fun stuff, and yeah, the Bible is full of good material.
I've always thought the whole Virgin Mary stuff was a hoot.
"Joseph, my darling husband, I've got some good new
and some bad news..."
"The rabbit died but it went straight to heaven."
"It didn't mean a thing it was just one of those
spur-of-the-moment out-of-body experiences and
besides, I thought you couldn't get pregnant the
first time."
"Boy, when God fucks up he really fucks up."
"Was it good for You?" "Mary, dear, it was good
for everyone."
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