| Grex > Cflirt > #43: Fun With Pumpkins |
| Fun With Pumpkins | 
Oct 7 13:31 UTC 2002 |
This was in the Washington Post ... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever." In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County (Atlanta area) courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' " He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"
| response 1 of 13: |
Oct 7 15:43 UTC 2002 |
Holy shit. He should walk just for that line.
| response 2 of 13: |
Oct 7 20:57 UTC 2002 |
If that's a true story, I commend that guy. My god, that was way too funny...
| response 3 of 13: |
Oct 8 00:39 UTC 2002 |
I third resp:1
| response 4 of 13: |
Oct 9 00:23 UTC 2002 |
(Only.... wasn't it the _horses_ that used to be a pumpkin? I'm thinking that's still illegal.)
| response 5 of 13: |
Oct 9 01:37 UTC 2002 |
No. Carriage=pumpkin. Horses=mice.
| response 6 of 13: |
Oct 9 02:11 UTC 2002 |
I've heard all kinds of bestiality tales, but mice? That's a toughie.
| response 7 of 13: |
Oct 9 03:38 UTC 2002 |
The actual case in hand sounds more like vegiality than bestiality to me. I suspect that anti-vegiality laws are fairly scarce.
| response 8 of 13: |
Oct 9 04:38 UTC 2002 |
LOL
| response 9 of 13: |
Oct 13 06:44 UTC 2002 |
Yeah, but the pigs have gotta come up with something when they see a dude getting it on with a vegetable. I wish I had a elephant trunk instead of a human nose.
| response 10 of 13: |
Oct 14 04:05 UTC 2002 |
that story is gaining urba legend status. I first saw it reported by a British source a year or two ago.
| response 11 of 13: |
Oct 14 04:30 UTC 2002 |
it's a damned good line:)
| response 12 of 13: |
Oct 14 15:45 UTC 2002 |
Actually, I read that same story on anurban legend desk calendar at a friend's house this past weekend. It had come up a few weeks ago, and he'd saved the page and hung it on his wall.
| response 13 of 13: |
Apr 29 14:21 UTC 2003 |
Urban legend or not, it's still quite amusing.