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Grex > Cflirt > #24: The Politics Behind Oral Sex! | |
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oval
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The Politics Behind Oral Sex!
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Mar 27 19:57 UTC 2002 |
why women hate doing it? why women love doing it?
why men hate doing it? why men love doing it?
why anyones likes it aside from the whole incredible pleasure aspect..
discuss!
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| 55 responses total. |
flem
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response 1 of 55:
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Mar 27 20:19 UTC 2002 |
It's just so much *fun* I don't understand why anyone doesn't like it.
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rlejeune
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response 2 of 55:
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Mar 27 20:27 UTC 2002 |
Taste?
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oval
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response 3 of 55:
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Mar 27 20:38 UTC 2002 |
thirst?
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oval
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response 4 of 55:
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Mar 27 20:39 UTC 2002 |
second part of question:
why are both men and women uncomfortable talking about it?
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phenix
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response 5 of 55:
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Mar 27 21:00 UTC 2002 |
no clue, i'm not
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oval
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response 6 of 55:
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Mar 27 22:17 UTC 2002 |
so do you consider the 'politics' to be the same when a man does it compared
with when a woman does it?
[im just trying to bring this conf back to life people!]
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phenix
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response 7 of 55:
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Mar 27 23:32 UTC 2002 |
well, thank you.
politics? i do k now that a great many women i've spoken to don't like
to give head, and guys think it makes them weak.
me, i just think that's silly.
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morwen
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response 8 of 55:
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Mar 27 23:37 UTC 2002 |
I know someone who said she doesn't like the texture. We think we
found a cure for that, though. Chocolate flavored body butter. :9
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jazz
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response 9 of 55:
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Mar 27 23:40 UTC 2002 |
The only thing that makes me uncomfortable about oral sex is that some
people insist on calling it just "oral", which is an adjective, and not a
noun. It's weird, but that really bugs me, way out of porportion to any
other adjective being used as a noun.
I'd say the politics are the same; if I ran into someone who wouldn't
go down on me, I'd stop going down on them. I must have been exceptionally
fortunate, because although I've run into a few people who have issues from
their past, I haven't run into anyone who wasn't into it.
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oval
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response 10 of 55:
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Mar 27 23:49 UTC 2002 |
one thing that bugs me about _head_ (n.) when people feel automatically
obligated to reciprocate.
the thing phenix said about 'guys think it make them weak' - i think that
can go both ways. _head_ often becomes a 'service' and not sex. shitty.
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jazz
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response 11 of 55:
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Mar 28 00:02 UTC 2002 |
Okay, I'm with you there. But people need to be less uptight about
sex anyways. You don't see people getting as worked up over who enjoyed
rollerblading more, or whether they were both into that scenic drive.
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morwen
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response 12 of 55:
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Mar 28 00:08 UTC 2002 |
what some women don't seem to understand is how much power you can have
over a man when you give him head. If I offer to give Jon head, he'll
do almost anything I ask, provided I don't go overboard and provided
also that deliver on my offer in the first place.
Manipulating someone with an offer of head and then not delivering is
not wise. I would stop trusting someone who got me to do something for
them with and offer of head and then didn't provide.
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flem
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response 13 of 55:
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Mar 28 00:17 UTC 2002 |
Uh oh, there goes one of my buttons. Do you really want to turn sex into a
currency? There's a word for that...
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cyklone
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response 14 of 55:
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Mar 28 00:44 UTC 2002 |
Here's a story I thought was interesting and may fit in this item:
A guy I know (who I suspect has "issues" re/women) started hanging out
with the gf of someone he knew who had moved to another state. She was
never clear on the status of that relationship. She did start hanging out
a lot with my friend, including late at night, sleeping over, etc. Classic
tease behavior, some might say. Apparently things progressed to kissing
and then him going down on her. She would not reciprocate, and eventually
she stopped seeing him because she felt guilty.
While I certainly see some fault on her part because of her unresolved
feelings, I also have a hard time feeling as sorry for him as he feels for
himself.
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jaklumen
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response 15 of 55:
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Mar 28 02:08 UTC 2002 |
They're both choads.
There's also the skill issue. Supposedly, some guys don't know what
spots are pleasurable down there. And then there's the guy wish that
a girl will continue to fellate and not get a sore jaw.
I highly recommend the Nina Hartley videos for tips or finding a good
self-help book with pictures.
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oval
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response 16 of 55:
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Mar 28 02:18 UTC 2002 |
and practice practice practice!!!
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jazz
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response 17 of 55:
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Mar 28 02:27 UTC 2002 |
I'm with Greg. The idea that anyone would view sex as an exercise in
power over someone both disturbs and angers me. I don't think I've ever wound
up with someone like that, but if I did, I would leave in a heartbeat. But
then I don't react well at all to most manipulative tactics, and I've noticed
that people who are normally manipulative don't seem to try it around me, at
least not in the more obvious ways.
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michaela
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response 18 of 55:
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Mar 28 07:05 UTC 2002 |
Jon - smart women will do many other things, including things with their
mouth, until the sore cheeks/jaw goes away.
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eeyore
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response 19 of 55:
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Mar 29 02:54 UTC 2002 |
I've never had any issues with oral sex, other than the fact that it does
absolutely nothing for me. I get bored. I kinda feel bad about that too,
since there have been a few guys that have tried really really hard, and I
certainly don't blame them!!!
As for giving oral, once again, as a basic deed, I have no issues with it.
For myself, I try to avoid it, for a few decent reasons. I tend to gag
pretty easily, and no guy wants to be puked on. I do have jaw issues, and
can't always open my mouth all the way. Also, when I'm excited, I tend to
be fairly nippy, and nobody wants to be bitten there. Lastly is the
taste...that whole gag things comes right back up as an issue. I've
certainly gone down on most guys I've dated, but the rule has almost always
been to let me know before anything comes out, or there will be hell to pay.
Yeah, the guys I've known would be thrilled to have me go down, but never
never never have I ever tried to use it as a power tool....that's just all
sorts of sick and wrong. Sex is a beautiful thing..,..don't try to ruin it
with power.
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senna
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response 20 of 55:
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Mar 29 04:27 UTC 2002 |
I suspect, although I don't know, that people may be reading Julie a bit
harsher than she intended to be read.
Heck, there's even an argument that she was just being
tongue-on-dick-in-cheek.
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michaela
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response 21 of 55:
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Mar 29 10:05 UTC 2002 |
Senna!!! :)
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jazz
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response 22 of 55:
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Mar 29 13:33 UTC 2002 |
That's true, I suppose, Steve, but it wouldn't be the first time that
someone was speaking sarcastically and got taken seriously for lack of a ";)"
somewhere in the message.
On #19, I've never been with anyone who didn't enjoy cunninlingus.
Many women aren't comfortable enough with it to bring themselves to orgasm;
that's not uncommon at all and usually goes away with a little encouragement
and practice. But I've never been with anyone it did *nothing* for; it begs
the question if it's not the act, but the people who've gone down on you that
did nothing for you.
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void
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response 23 of 55:
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Mar 29 20:05 UTC 2002 |
I'm inclined to agree with jazz, eeyore. It sounds like you've had some
rotten luck and met some real cunnilingual morons.
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oval
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response 24 of 55:
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Mar 29 21:04 UTC 2002 |
i'll agree also. and i just can't stand that word - cunnilingus -
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